6
Mar
Off

The Gaming House

In the cold night of the eternal desert, the traveler walks alone. His mighty bell tolls, and it tolls for thee, denizens of evil. He is Bundun, the Night Stalker. [bell] [music ends] What even is this [bleep]? He’s got a bell? Not a katana or a railgun, a [bleep] bell? Are we trying to sell players a $4.99 Salvation Army [bleep] Santa? Um… we think that the bell fits the stylistic steampunk aesthetic. [Charna] Not to mention he’s clearly just a re-skinned version of Daniver. Uh, Daniver’s an ice troll. Bundun’s is a spectral plasma troll. – There is a big difference– – Get the [bleep] out. Get the [bleep] out guys. Go on, go on, come on. – Get the [bleep] out. – Oh, yeah. [ theme ♪ ] [bird’s squawking] OK, Let’s uh… start the tour. – Oh is it a shoes off house? – No, those are just shoes. Oh. Oh, watch out for the spaghetti. – Ooh. OK. – Yeah. ♪ – This is the training room. –

Your seats there Alzheimer’s. [scoffs] Alzheimer’s? I’m trying out nicknames for you, because you’re old. Don’t think that just because you’re at the top of the casual boys you’re one of us, Guy Who Drank From the Wrong Grail in Indiana Jones. – What? – [bleep] Korean War Vet. [Becca] We usually practice from around 11AM to 1AM. – You play for 14 hours straight. – Used to be longer, but some kid in South Korea died from playing 15 hours straight, so you know, you gotta cut back. Let’s go this way. ♪ Kitchen. Not sure if the oven works. We usually just order takeout. – [indistinct] – Oh no. No, I’m okay. No I’m not– I’m not hungry. I’m… OK let’s just go. Next room. ♪ Laundry room. Also where Alt Trash sleeps. [Alt Trash] Pleased to meet you. And this is your room. You share with DaveFu. Oh, I-I thought I got my own room. Yeah. Your own room. Dave’s own room.

Your guys’ own room. Hmm. [telephone beep, female sighs] Tony Squib is on line 1. – [Charna sighs] – [beep] – [Squib] Hello? – Hey Tommy. So great to talk to you. Just wanted to make sure that our little problem is behind us. [Squib] Wait, wait, what? What problem? [Charna] OK Squib, I don’t have time for this. We’ve got power outages in Europe, and I’ve been getting death threats all morning on Twitter for nerfing – Cambria’s Binding Gloom. – [Squib] Hey, cut off the jackhammer! Uh, I don’t understand what any of those words mean, but if you’re talking about Sorcerer I got that handled. [Charna] That’s good to hear, because while your NBA tough-guy act may work with sales reps and escorts, I will gladly cut your team for one of thousands waiting in line. – The leash is this short. – [Squib] Charna you’re gonna be hap– – [shouting] This short! – Hel-Hello? Hello? [Squib] OK, this is the deal, in order for me to make my money you gotta win, so that’s what we’re gonna do. – We’re gonna win.